Confessions of a Boudoir Photographer

Full disclosure, I do not like reality shows. Like most people my age, I remember when they started and I was excited for the first season of all the popular shows, however as the years past, they clearly became less real. It was the same characters, different players. There’s the funny one, the sporty one, the naive one, the super bubbly one, the a-hole, the aggressive, the ego, the lovable, the narcissist, the double crosser, the genuine etc… men, women, it didn’t matter, after the first or second season it was always the same, so contrived, so not… real. The novelty soon wore off and I stopped watching them. Done. It’s been many years now.

One night early this year I turned off the DVR and was playing a game on my phone. I wasn’t paying attention to the tv, what channel it was on or what was playing, but when the conversation piqued my curiosity, I looked up and was sucked in. Not by what was happening, although juicy and insanely immature, but by the eyebrows. Yup, eyebrows. This poor girl. I am not a mean or catty person but all I could think was that a makeup artist somewhere had a beef with this young lady and took it out on her face, for the world to see.

Here’s the clip I looked up at from my addiction to Fishdom, and please, this is in no way a mean spirited post, but I couldn’t stop staring. In fact throughout the rest of the episode, the eyebrow consistency was all over the place and with multiple ladies. Did they not have mirrors? Needless to say, they were on some island or excursion and I have to wonder if it was an on location MUA because once they were “back home” the eyebrows were perfectly polished. Yeah, leave it to me to get sucked into a show because eyebrows made me scratch my head…

When I finally stopped the staring at eyebrows, I started paying attention to what was happening. When I looked up and saw how Ben causally swept Lauren’s hair aside, I knew immediately that he was into her and what lies were said about her, didn’t matter to him. That was how it started and then my ego kicked in… I wanted to know  if I was right. I wanted to know if I was reading his body language correctly. I hit record. I watched the rest of the season. I actually got sucked into one of THE most ridiculous scenarios one could possibly be in. There were moments I was unsure if Lauren was the one, but as it turns out, he was an easy read.

Then came Jojo as The Bachelorette. I liked her and wanted to see her happy, so once again I hit record. It has been an interesting season, but I noticed right away how the show splices events to make it look so much more dramatic in the previews. Sadly, it’s been pretty non-dramatic, unless you count all the times Jojo has cried as drama? Chad, albeit funny as hell, should be avoided at all costs. I also notice… Chase. I won’t go into details about this season, what I found funny, disturbing and annoying. I doubt anyone cares about any of this, but I can honestly say, I don’t think Jojo is making the right decision. There are so many red flags with the two remaining guys, red flags that are hard to see when you are in it. Her body language says Jordan, it’s said Jordan from day one. I personal, feel distrust towards him, can’t put my finger on it but “phony” comes to mind. I hope I am wrong but ultimately I think she’ll choose him, and I am placing my bets right now that she doesn’t stay with the man she chooses in the end. I was hoping it would be Chase, but alas… *Sigh* And I still do not believe that you can truly be in love with someone in such a short amount of time. Granted there is much more together time than the show airs, but still, let’s get real here. Infatuation, yes, but real love, nope. There is nothing real about the situation or the circumstances and I cannot even imagine what all the players have to go through emotionally. It’s horrible, really. As an outsider, I was team Chase, but Luke also seems more genuine than the two remaining. I was stunned she let Chase go. As a women, I am also feeling my inner cougar come out because well, hot damn, Chase! Hot damn.

And yes, yes I did start following him on Instagram. Don’t judge. Truth is, his demeanor and personality reminds me of my hubby, which I find very endearing. The first time he kissed Jojo, during Yoga– COME ON!!! He’s sexy as F@#$! *deep breath… exhale* I mean if I wasn’t a happily married cripple in her 40’s with two young boys, I’d be on that like whip cream on strawberries. Mmm mmm good! Wait, did I say that out loud? I digress. You see, the issue now is, what if they choose him as the next Bachelor, how could I NOT watch it? Ugh, please don’t choose Chase, let him find love the old fashion “Tinder” way. Or better yet, let Jojo realize her mistake and bring him back! I couldn’t stand to watch another season of this horrible “reality” show, but he’d have me there, front and center… purrrrring like my large wild cat, inner ego. Meeeow.

Damn you, The Bachelor.